Unistuck
by Deadwr3n
Summary: Jake and John are moving to a new city in England to attend university. Dirk is a new professor at said university, whom lives with his little bro, Dave. These four's lives will soon be undeniably linked. Rated M for lemon, all four ships based around the main characters will be used.
1. Chapter 1

Jake threw his bag on his shoulders nervously, this would be the last time he would see his grandma's place for quite a while, and all in all, he was sad to be going. He wasn't sure how his Grandma would cope with being alone after raising him for eighteen years. Oh well, he thinks to himself, It's time for me to say goodbye, I've got to go to uni, it just can't be helped.

Jake thought to himself just how empty his room looked without his tv and posters on the wall and his junk thrown everywhere it was all in his friend John's car now. He thought about all the years he had called this small room his own. His grandma had moved her just before his mum had died. He was only two back then, and still a needy little blighter. He had caused his Grandma so much trouble through the years. He felt like maybe after uni he might be able to make it up to her. The skull bed sheets that he'd had since childhood seemed to smile reassuringly at him. It was time to go.

Waving sadly to the house he had grown up in and the woman who had raised him, Jake climbed into John's car and they drove off into the distance, toward what was sure to be a bloody brilliant new adventure!

* * *

Dirk sat behind his new desk in the lecture hall. In the next week he would be giving his first ever lecture as a professor, he would be teaching people only a couple of years younger than himself. He remembered his own first day at university, he'd just moved into a shitty little flat on the edge of the city that smelled like booze, weed and bad decisions. It smelled like his dad's house.

Dirk quickly corrected his thought path to his first day at university. His first lecturer spelled his own name wrong on the board and proceeded to get half a dozen things wrong when talking about nuclear physics within the space of half an hour. After that Dirk walked out and sat in a different class, and the rest was history. Now just five years later, he was teaching robotic engineering to a bunch of kids just younger than himself.

The college had tried to take his sweet shades from him when one of the dudes at the top asked him to teach. However when he explained that he had literally built an artificial intelligence into the fucking things they let him keep them. It was safe to say that he was pretty smart, in a completely ironic way of course.

Dirk cracked open a bottle of mountain dew and took a deep swig. A soda a day keeps the doctor away, as his big bro always used to say.

* * *

John sat awkwardly in the car next to his friend and future roommate Jake. It had been slightly awkward since their sleepover in which a viewing of con-air had turned into a completely different form of putting a bunny in a box. John hadn't been able to shake the hangover for two days, or sit comfortably for weeks.

Despite this, john was overjoyed when he heard that Jake would be going to the same university as him, and had insisted that they share a flat in the city. They had found a place that was perfect, and close to the college. It was a big flat with plenty of space for them both to do their own thing, and even better, the rent was cheap enough that they could both easily pay for it.

The only downside? The front door was right next to the neighbors house, which meant that any umm... walks of shame... could walk straight into the neighbor without a seconds notice. Still, thought John, if he and Jake were to hook up on a more permanent basis this wouldn't be a problem.

John clicked on the radio, it would be a long drive, and he couldn't afford to fall asleep at the wheel. He flicked it over to something that both he and Jake would like and decided to focus on the road, lest the bulge in his pants get any more obvious.

* * *

Everything sucked for Dave Strider at that moment. Not only had his brother revealed that he was going to be teaching at the same university that Dave would be attending, but also that he insisted they both stay in his new apartment, supposedly to keep his university fees down. Dave wouldn't have minded the extra debt if he could have had his own place, but he was just glad to get away from his dad. Dirk leaving and not saying a word to his dad had made things so much worse. The house smelled more, the cupboards had to be stocked with alcohol more, the beatings happened more.

Dave shuddered at the thought of his dad's house and wondered if Dirk asking him to stay in his flat was Dirk's way of trying to give him a happy family environment. Dave laughed at the thought, nah, all that ass-wipe cares about is himself, otherwise he would have taken me away from dad when he left in the first place. Instead he left me there for five years bearing the brunt alone.

Dave decided he couldn't think about this now and flicked on the tv, some shitty news channel was on, not the bbc, not sky, not even rt, it looked like it was made using about five pound an hour. It was obvious this was Dirk's main source of news in an instant.

Dave pulled open his bag and grabbed a packet of Doritos, he decided just vegging out in front of the tv for the first time in months was the best thing to do.

* * *

Here's chapter 1 :3 I hope you all like it half as much as I enjoyed writing it :3 In case you haven't noticed this fic will be... M rated shall we say? ;) Yeah basically It's a humanstuck AU where people are around the age to go to university and all live in England? I'll be introducing the rest of the cast but the main focus will be on those four. Yeah basically the main ships comprise stridercest, dirkjake, johndave and jakejohn, so yeah. It starts out as stridercest and johnjake but i plan to make it turn all dirkjake and johndave :3 anyway, I hope you enjoy the first chapter of this fic, if not... don't read the rest I guess?


	2. Chapter 2

Jake looked over at John, who was obviously deep in thought and immediately wished he hadn't. John was evidently thinking about something decidedly... not safe for work... and was... erm... pitching a tent over the thought of it.

Jake sat there awkwardly for a moment before he tried to ease the tension with thoughts, he thought about how it had been awful awkward a lot lately with John and wondered about the cause of it all, it took him a little while but finally he remembered the cause.

This wasn't exactly the first time Jake had seen John in this... situation... but it was the first time he had been sober during it. Jake quickly looked out of the window to hide his blush from John for a moment before realizing that he was so fixed on the road and his shitty music that he wouldn't notice almost anything.

"How about a car game, old chap?" Jake found himself staying without thinking.

"Sure Jake, what do you have in mind?" replied John, dorky smile turning toward Jake.

"Nervous."

* * *

Dirk was bored of just sitting around the lecture hall and so decided that he was going to go home. He walked out of the university, saying to the receptionist that all his work was done and that he was gonna go for a nap. He had after all been working at the college for the last twenty hours without a break. He deserved some time off, besides, he had to welcome his little bro Dave to his house. He hoped Dave had got the keys off the landlord like he'd told him to. Otherwise he'd have a very pissed Dave-kun awaiting him when he arrived.

Rather than take the subway, Dirk grabbed a board out of his bag. Very teachery, 2 skool 4 kool and that sort of crap. Dirk looked back to see a very dissapointed receptionist glaring daggers into his back. "Looks like receptionist-senpai has noticed me" Dirk chuckled to himself.

Dirk wondered who would be living in the flat next to him, last time it had been a polish guy and a Japanese girl rooming together. Neither of them spoke a word of English, nor, for that matter, did they share a language they could use to communicate. And still they fucked every night, Dirk knew, the walls were thin and she was a screamer. Not that Dirk minded, the girl had been as much of a nerd about Japanese crap as Dirk was. Also Dirk had learned Japanese one summer to read raw manga and watch raw anime ironically. The two had been best of friends the whole time she had lived there.

Still, thought Dirk to himself, he'd be there soon and he would get to meet the neighbros pretty at some point in the next day or two.

* * *

'Whoa whoa whoa, did Jake just say what I think he said?' though John to himself.

"S...sorry, what did you say Jake?"

"Let's play nervous John, but with one extra rule."

"Umm... sure... what's the extra rule"

"You have to keep driving, no matter what, if you can't do that, the game ends and I win, got it?" said Jake in a strangely sexual voice for him.

"Sure J-Jake..."

Suddenly Jake's right hand was on John's knee which was left exposed by his shorts. Both of them always wore shorts untill they would freeze without trousers. It was kind of weird.

"Are you nervous?" asked Jake, his hand inching slowly up John's thigh.

"No"

"How about now" said Jake, his right hand slipping up the trouser leg while his left hand fiddled with John's buttons.

"You're doing this kind of quickly," said John, "but I'm still not nervous."

Suddenly both of Jake's hands moved and John was fully exposed, his dick standing up like a telephone pole.

"how... about... now..." Jake said, his head inching closer to John's crotch with every word.

"No."

"hew... abert newewew" Jake said, pulling John's dick into his mouth and undoing his seat belt as he did so.

John moaned in pleasure, biting his lip and trying his best to not push his crotch forward. Jake cupped John's balls in his hand and steadily began to bob his head back and forth along John's cock. For a moment John was about to grab Jake's hair before he remembered it would all stop if John couldn't drive.

Jake started gently brushing the head with his tongue before sliding it down the shaft head to sack. John moaned steadily louder as he did so before gasping a "Jake... I'm gonna..." an instant before he exploded over Jake's face.

Jake looked up at John, flecks of cum dotted his face and hair, one blob had even landed on the lens of his glasses.

Jake quickly wiped off the cum with a shirt that had been on the top of the pile and cleaned off John too before covering him up. John sighed, satisfied that he got to be with Jake again and Jake started messing with his phone, probably playing a game or something...

* * *

Alright, though Dave to himself, Dirk was probably gonna be at the Uni for a couple more hours at least, he could probably have his first wank in his new house. He turned the big tv to a porn channel, which he knew Dirk was paying for ironically.  
After a minute or so, nature had worked its magic and Dave was as hard as a... I can't be arsed narrator, can I just fucking wank?

Dave pulled his dick out of his pants and softly began to tug away. A soft moan escaped his lips as pleasure slowly began to shoot through him. He wasn't going to last long this time he could tell. He tugged faster and faster, getting lost in the moment.

Dave never wanted this moment to end, he was in heaven, however, good things are not meant to last, and just before Dave could finish... Dirk walked in.

* * *

Heheh well let there be smut I guess? I wanted to do a smutty chapter early on to get some early practice in... this is my first time writing smut, so... what do you guys think? :3 I'm kinda embarrassed to post this to be fair :$ still, I hope you all enjoy it! :3


	3. Chapter 3

Jake really wasn't sure why he'd just done that, he was after all meant to be living with John for two years, and doing anything to potentially ruin that so early on was sure to be a mistake. Sill, thought Jake to himself, John sure did look satisfied, with that goofy look on his face.

Jake looked back at his phone, he'd been talking to Roxy, a friend that lived in the city he was going to be moving to. They were planning to go out drinking together during freshers week and get wasted. Also, Roxy was going to be attending the same university, although she would be doing some hardcore class that only geniuses get to attend. Roxy sure was smart for a girl whom liked to get drunk as much as she did.

GT: So umm Rox

TG: Yeah Jake?

GT: You know how me and John are driving to uni in the same car?

TG: ohmigosh Jake did something happen?

TG: * Oh my gosh

GT: Uh... that's one word for it...

GT: I may have uh... sucked on his... lil' chap

TG: Aww, you two are such cute shits

GT: No we're just friends Rox!

TG: Friends don't suck each other off in moiving vehicles

TG: *moving

GT: But...

TG: No buts

TG: Except for the buts being used in your obviously coupley buttsechs

TG: *Butt sex

GT: :/

TG: Anyway Jakey I'm gonna have to love ya' and leave ya'

TG: One of my girls wants to go out drinkkin'

TG: *drunkin'

TG: *fuck it

GT: alright, see you soon Rox :)

* * *

Dirk walked into his house to see his little bro exposed on the couch with porn playing on his sweet flatscreen.

'Damn Dave, we christening the new apartment?'

'Uh, yeah I am bro, ironically of course'

'Sure bro, how about I help you out there lil' man? Ironically of course'

* * *

John looked over to see Jake falling asleep. Alright, he thought to himself, it's gonna be a long car ride, so of course he'll spend some of it asleep. Besides, John had a certain fetish when it came to sleeping people. He smiled, while putting his hand on Jake's leg.

'time for a short pitstop' said John to himself. Jake would never have to know.

* * *

Dave and Dirk frickle frackled.

* * *

And there's chapter 3 for you guys 3 yeah I put way more effort into Jake's chapter but I'm trying to hurry the story along guise because otherwise my brain will come up with 9999999+ reasons for them all to have sex and this was meant to be mostly story and occasionally smut yo :P


End file.
